Pattaya. Pattaya. Pattaya. The resort town without a real beach. What? Yup. Here’s the Pattaya they show you at the travel agency to get you there.

And then here is the truth about the beach. Its MAYBE 12 feet of actual beach. Room as you can see for only ONE or TWO beach chairs.

What a great place to kill time and your hangover before you go back out to the girly bars.

J: In the middle of this grand tour of Thailand there lies a dirty secret. I’m looking forward to my time at Narita Tokyo Airport. Quite a bit, Japan is higher on my to-do list than on my wife’s. I know my dream of sushi-belts and robot stores must be a bit off, but it must be a bit ON as well. Look at the controls on the toilet. Volume control for the supplemental flushing sounds. Man-oh-geez-oh-man. Toilet jokes aside, these bathrooms are regarded by many western travelers as a first safe oasis when leaving Asia.

Instruction panel on airport toilet.