NO

Wow.

It looks so powerful up there doesn’t it? So scary. So negative.

Who would title their blog post NO when all I want is for you to love me and say YES to me?

I will, cause I’m working on it. On the No.

No is everything.

I’m a tour guide, my tours end in November. I shut ‘em down because it gets so cold here you forget your own name. People  might think they want a tour of Chicago in January, but they don’t really, they just don’t know it.

My business, my real business, is about six months out of the year.

And this year, I’m cutting it about a month short so that we can go to Morocco.

I have people calling me right now, trying to book tours for the days when I won’t be here. Groups, big groups of people, who want to come with me and I have to say…NO.

It’s really hard. Especially running my own business. Now it’s not just saying no to a boss or a superior, but literally turning down money. My money.  I don’t get vacation days or paid days off. So, I’m literally saying NO to money. And customers. And future customers.

It’s really hard. Finding the balance.

Travel is hard, it really is. Because it’s generally about having money and time. Two of the hardest things to find, if I look at it that way.

I tell myself I started my own business so that I could have the *time* to travel.

Aren’t I silly? Like I thought having my own business was going to create MORE time? How ridiculous. Of course, my own business takes more time than any job I’ve ever had. And it’s a lot harder to say no to, because my business is my heart and soul, my passion, the thing I created (with the help of friends and family of course, thank you Obama!) all by myself.

I think this is why travel can be a hard choice to make, especially in our matrix world of work is the only thing that matters.

I HAVE to make travel a priority or it’s the easiest thing to let go of. It makes the most sense to let it go, it takes time and money, of which none of us have excess amounts of. (Terrible sentence, REVEL IN IT).

So I’ve blocked it off. I’ve said no to work and yes to three weeks in Morocco. And I hate it. And I love it. It keeps me awake some nights and lulls me to sleep others. No is the bane of my existence and the joy of my life. My power and my weakness.

What do you find it hard to say no to? Work? Friends? Social engagements? What traps you?